[personal profile] julival2
I got fired this morning. The term used was "lay-off due to financial considerations". I was called down to my manager's office and escorted to our main conference room to join three other people from my department and with no introduction whatsoever, we were then read a letter explaining that we were being terminated, effective immediately, term, conditions, blah blah blah, most of which I did not hear, because I was quietly crying with my head turned away from the table. Then we were all handed a big packet of stuff that we're supposed to review and sign and then told "to avoid any discomfort from questions from your coworkers" (translation "to avoid a scene") "you will be escorted to collect your personal belongings and exit the building"

I walked out of the room, chased by my manager, went straight to the ladies room, sobbed for a few minutes, came out to find (as expected) my manager waiting outside the door, and was escorted to my cubical to pack up my things. I was not allowed to speak to anyone or take my notebooks. I have written a lot of very ugly things about my manager in my notebooks over the past year and a half. I told him to be sure and read them carefully. Then I threw them on the floor at his feet, told him not to speak to me and told him to be sure and shut the door tightly once I was out of the building so I couldn't get back in, called him a fat little fuck and left.

Just now, I e-mailed my former coworkers to tell them goodbye and good luck and they could call me if they needed any information, since I wasn't allowed to say goodbye before I left.

I'm almost 45 years old. I've had seven jobs in my adult life. This is the only one I've ever been fired from. It's quite the experience.

I have no idea what I'm going to do next. I don't even really know what I'm feeling right now. Sad. Embarrassed. Angry. Betrayed. Pathetic. Scared. Hopeless. Rejected. Abused. Tired. Very tired. And stupid. Very stupid. And apparently I don't even matter enough to ask what I had going on that might be important right now.

So I guess I'll be polishing up that gorgeous resume of mine that shows six jobs in nine years and see if anyone will even give it a second look in this booming economy. It's going to be a great summer.

Date: 2009-05-01 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carrieb.livejournal.com
Oh God, Julie. That is just unbelievable. I am in shock and it didn't happen to me. I can't imagine what you are going through *big hugs* I am home all day. Please feel free to call me if you need someone to talk to. 301-528-2728

Date: 2009-05-01 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] julival.livejournal.com
Thanks, C. I appreciate the offer. I just can't really talk without crying right now, so I'm going stick with writing. It's not even that I'm that sad at this point. It's a physical thing with me. Once I get started crying over something, it's very hard for me to stop. I should be done by tomorrow, hopefully. And then I probably will not want to talk about it anyway.

By the time you get here, I'll be able to have a rational conversation about it, I'm sure. *hugs*

Date: 2009-05-01 03:55 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-05-01 08:09 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-05-01 06:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paedraggaidin.livejournal.com
Being "laid off" is one of the most terrible experiences in the world. :(

*hugs*

If you need to talk or anything, well, I'm always here.

Date: 2009-05-01 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] julival.livejournal.com
Yeah, it's right up there, isn't it? Not as bad as watching your mom die - which is what I did four years ago yesterday - but pretty freaking depressing.

I'll be in chat tomorrow night. I might not want to talk about it, but I'll want have some fun. *hugs*

Date: 2009-05-01 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladysunrunner.livejournal.com
Whaaaaaaaaaaaat. That SUCKS. Sorry :(

Date: 2009-05-01 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] julival.livejournal.com
yeah, it does. Thanks.

Date: 2009-05-01 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allevil.livejournal.com
That is awful. *hugs* And the way they handled it was hideous. Did they at least give some sort of severence package? Geez. *hugs again*

Date: 2009-05-01 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] julival.livejournal.com
It was absolutely hideous, cowardly and just plain wrong. But yes, the giant packet o' shit they gave me has a twelve page legal document that I'm supposed to give careful consideration to and sign and return within a certain period of time if I want to receive my severance. It has all sort of really charming restrictive clauses in it, including one that it will be void if I tell anyone other than my spouse or attorney about it *giant eye roll of distain*.

Date: 2009-05-01 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] big-bubba.livejournal.com
Sounds like your ex-manager is a first class a$$hole (pardon the French). I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through that. *hugs*

Date: 2009-05-01 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] margrethe.livejournal.com
Sorry to hear the news Julie, but on the bright side you won't have to see your asshole manager anymore. It sounds like it really stinks the way the carried out the whole layoff process, especially for such a small company. I am looking for a new job myself at the moment and top priority is a company that doesn't treat its employees like shit.

Have you thought about volunteering or some public service like town government? Stuff like that is usually very rewarding and appreciated. If I didn't need $$$ its what I would do.

Date: 2009-05-02 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blueness.livejournal.com
Oh yuck, I'm sorry. I've been there, twice, and it's an awful feeling, but wow, both of my former companies handled it MILES better than what you're describing. What jerks.

Date: 2009-05-02 05:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] djxiii.livejournal.com
Absolutely brutal. I hate it when a company claims lay-off and then treats you like some sort of criminal. Ridiculous. Demeaning and unnecessary. I'm sorry you had to experience it bg.

*bear hugs*

Date: 2009-05-02 05:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sipdeek.livejournal.com
The little mister would like to pass on a slobbery kiss.
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